It hurts; oh, it hurts! But I have to be honest. For a moment, I did think about faking it. There was the slight chance for me to throw something together over the weekend and pretend as if I had worked hard all month. As hard as many of you. It would have been a sorry lie. It probably would have caused me to lose even more sleep. So! I am going to tell the truth – as humiliating as it is.
Remember all those challenging challenges I signed up for? I haven’t finished them. I’ve barely started. As my grandfather would say… DOING!
There are no excuses. None of value anyway. I just didn’t do them. I didn’t run for thirty minutes every day. I didn’t complete any of the great trick ideas I had for Shiva. The entire month of January was one unmitigated disaster. It was not at all what I had planned.
In order to prevent 2013 from being forever named the “Year of Shittery” (oh, how I am tempted to write off the next eleven months…) I am throwing back my shoulders, slipping on my big girl shoes and forcing myself to look at it all in a positive way. No, things didn’t go as I’d hoped. That doesn’t mean it was a complete waste. Failure happens. It’s what one learns from failure that matters most.
And I learned!
1. Running in snow boots isn’t as hard as you’d think.
2. Shiva will always push her boundaries. If I give her an inch, she will take the dang province. I can’t let my criteria slip for a second.
3. It is possible to spend too much time watching goat videos.
4. If the only thing I accomplish each day is waking up and walking my dog, I can consider it a success.
5. Wallowing only leads to more wallowing.
6. Avoidance of things I dislike is one of my biggest motivators – à la Something Wagging This Way Comes. Really I should have figured this out long ago.
7. As long as I can go home, everything will be okay in the end.
8. You are all awesome. But I guess I knew that already.
Even though I don’t deserve it, I am giving myself a do-over. February can – and will – be better. I can – and will – achieve my goals. I’ve kicked serious butt at similar challenges in the past and I can do it again! I am kicking out my inner wallower and I am going to give it an honest try this time. To keep myself accountable, every time I write a post I am going to share both my running progress and my dog training progress. Each day I have to do a little of both. Hopefully within the next thirty days I will be feeling better about my accomplishments. From here on out I am officially changing my attitude!
Keep calm and give Shiva a cookie, that’s my new motto.
Congratulations go out to Taryn of A Tale of Two Cardis. She is the winner of a copy of The Love Dog, by Elsa Watson. Thanks to everyone who entered the giveaway!
Holy Moly! I won something
Woohoo! Do I send my info to your email listed here on the blog?
Taryn recently posted..A Table for One Please!
I have sent you an email to the address you provided in your comment.
Thanks again for joining in! I hope you like the book!
As a fellow “avoider of pain,” I feel your pain.
And, as funny as a year of shittery sounds, I’d love you to join me in my year of self-compassion. The best part about it is if you fail, you’re back on track as soon as you forgive yourself for failing.
I’m trying to take credit for all kinds of challenges that no one knew I was signed on for–like the “Hey, I got out of bed and get dressed even though I felt like crap” challenge. And the “my bike tire is flat and now I have to walk three miles to do my shopping for work since I don’t have a spare” challenge. And even the “look at me! I managed to get through the whole day without cussing anyone out.”
I think you’ve done a great job at the “keeping my dog from going insane even though it’s freezing cold outside and I’d rather read a book than go out” challenge. And the “writing funny and self-deprecating posts whenever you can scrape up a spare minute” challenge. Good for you!
I think like most humans your reach exceeds your grasp. That can be humbling, but also challenging. I hope you never entirely grasp what you’re reaching for because I would miss your very funny confessionals.
jan recently posted..The rapper and the stray dogs of Detroit
Yup. avoidance is my biggest motivator too. I’m not sure where that gets us. You keep moving forward, and that is the important thing. It would be easy to just say “I failed” and give up. I am afraid to look at my New Year’s non-resolutions, because I probably have made very little progress on those…thank goodness I have the whole year. Believe me, it is reassuring to the rest of us when you can admit your shortcomings….because we all have them, and it’s not easy to ‘fess up to them! So thanks for sharing!
Jan Keefe recently posted..Early Valentine’s
You didn’t fail – you just got a little side-tracked. Happens to the best of us. And hey, good for you for not wallowing! Hoist those big girl underpants up and carry on! Sometimes you just need to change direction a little. I’ve had to do that myself. It happens.
I love #3 by the way!!! LOL!!
Your new motto is great and I bet Shiva approves!
Blueberry’s human recently posted..Harness time!
Well I haven’t done anything on my New Year to do list, I’ve done something different instead and I am currently managing my flock and trying to assimilate a lovely Ragdoll kitty who is bunking here til either his owner can take him back or he finds his forever home. He has been brave but noone has been particularly welcoming. I let him out of his room when I am around to supervise and he is slowly making is way further and further into the house. Until the dogs freak him out of course.
jet recently posted..Guildford – Doggie Heaven?
I can’t tell you how much i look forward to reading your posts…every one is a gem…you have not failed at anything…you’ve learned a lot about goats (#3 had me cackling) and you know what you want to do next and have some idea of how to go about it…that’s a success to me…i often have no idea what i want to do next
Gizmo (@GizmoGeodog) recently posted..GOODBYE AND HELLO
I don’t think I’m a better person for having completed [more or less] my 30 day challenge. Just more tired
Keep calm and ginga. Strangely enough, that’s MY motto!
Georgia Little Pea recently posted..poofer feesh and bad fishy men.
I believe in you!
January is always such a horrible month for me, mentally. I can’t blame you, really.
Videos of goats, really?
Jen recently posted..Doberman Assistance Network Monthly Sponsorship program
I have realized that I am going to have to be very kind to myself for a while thanks to a very stressful situation I’m dealing with at work in the form of a mentally ill child. My teaching partner is absent from the situation more and more. I’ve decided there will be no beating myself up when I can’t do everything that I hoped to in a day, whether that means I don’t go for walk after school every single day or if I go to the Google Reader and “mark all as read” because I just didn’t have the energy. In the past, I dealt with a similar situation by eating my feelings, and I’m just not going to do that to myself this time. I guess my long-winded point is, there are times to push yourself, and also times when you need to be kind to yourself. It’s okay to forgive yourself and move forward!
houndstooth recently posted..Starting A New Challenge
There were many challenges that I wanted to do, but because of my recent track record, I decided not to. Maybe once I can start posting regularly I will take on a few challenges
I’m glad you are giving yourself a pass . .you deserve it! I’m always talking about accepting things exactly as they are and not expecting anything different in my yoga classes . .sometimes I need to take my own advice!!!
Julie recently posted..Weekend Whatnots
Thank God I am not the only one!!!!
I had so many goals this month. Then I got the flu, was stuck inside because it was cold enough for may face to freeze off and shatter into a million pieces if it hit the ground, an I have a project from hell going on at work.
Can I join you? I’d like a do-over too.
MelF recently posted..How much is that doggie in your browser? You’d be surprised.
What’s gone is gone, you have the future ahead and that’s all you can do anything about.
I love your new moto!
It’s the whole reason they created do-overs!
Don’t worry, January wasn’t the month I had hoped it would be either. It was not very promising of the New Year at all, but hopefully it was the worst month of the year and things will only get better!!!
Yeah! That’s the spirit!
Jen recently posted..Leroy’s Ruptured Tympanic Membrane
Meh….life happens…and that includes “not feeling it” sometimes.
We have a new challenge for you….the Idita-Walk
If you think that you failed, review #5. I know that at times it gets difficult, but try and keep positive, I think that’s the most important thing because it’s too easy to dwell on the coulda/woulda/shoulda things in life.
Give yourself a break and try again (or not).
acd6pack recently posted..Breeze is excited!!
Stay calm and give Shiva a cookie, words to live by.
And I did chuckle at year of Shittery, what IS your motto this year?
Jodi recently posted..Holler Holler for a Collar
I think re-trying in Feb is a great idea. Jan is waaaaaay too early to write off an entire year. You can’t do that until like Nov-Dec.
Good lick!!
Donna recently posted..The Diet Dilemma (Continued)
Hi Kristin & Shiva…just a heads up…you’ve been nominated for an award on my blog today…post will be up in about an hour…hope you lilke it
Gizmo (@GizmoGeodog) recently posted..BALD EAGLES & GEOCACHING – POST #101
You sure did learn a lot of valuable lessons though. I like #4. I’ve never actually tested #3!
Peggy Frezon recently posted..Our Snowball
Oh, not a failure – just delayed a bit! I do like your new motto. I suppose it would not be good if I twisted a new motto for myself out of that: Keep Calm & Have a Cookie. (The Girl Scouts came by this weekend…)
Jackie Bouchard recently posted..Monday Mischief: The Case of the Missing Bone
Goat videos?!? Bwahahahahaha! I’m going to have to go look up goat videos, now.
This is why I don’t set more than one goal at a time, as a rule. My goal right now is to make it through to the weekend. I think my thyroid is acting up again, so my energy levels and my apathy levels are reversed. Bad. But temporary.
To February!
Flea recently posted..Dog Candy – Lamb Lung Puffs and a Giveaway
hahah goat videos thathad me laughing. I wouldn’t worry too much about the not finnishing the challenges, I heard something like only 1-5% of new years revolutions actually end up happening, so considering this your still a high acheiver! XD
Oh, thank DOG I’m not the only one! January completely got away from me and I am hoping that February works out much better – for both our sakes.
Amy@GoPetFriendly recently posted..Dog Friendly Hike at Landsford Canal State Park
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I never even bothered to try or say that I might, because I had zero faith in any of that happening. So at least you thought at one point that you’d be able to do these things. I gave up before that. LOL
OK, that’s half joking.
In reality, I had some beginning of the year goals that involved me, the dog, and the blog. None of them have been accomplished. Most of them have not even been attempted. And it does make me feel crappy–but I’m trying to not let it and just keep going, taking every little achievement as a huge success. It’s barely working, but it’s something.
You are most definitely not alone!