My Cat is a Jerkwad

I love this video. I found it originally when it was shared by Cindy Lu’s Muse on Facebook. It proves that cats are creative and smart, maybe even just as intelligent as dogs. It also shows that there are times when cats and dogs can work together and be friends. To be fair, the cat in this video, Dexter, I think his name is, may have been acting out of purely selfish motivations. He wanted to open that door and escape the laundry room as much as the dog did. Despite that, they still both achieved the same goal. The cat didn’t mind the fact that the dog was there, waiting for him to achieve glory.

This little scene would never happen in my household. No, no. It’s not that my cat – The Cat, or “TC” as the author of Kol’s Notes nicknamed him a long time ago – isn’t clever enough to figure this out, especially if he was given such easy access. I wouldn’t doubt he’d have that door open in seconds. However, if he thought the dog stood to gain from his efforts, he’d never go through with it. He would find some other way, maybe open a window instead or tease Shiva to make her think the coast was clear and then WHAM! Slam the door in her face.

Yes, TC is this diabolical. I mean, look at him. Does this look like an innocent face to you?

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No, no it doesn’t. Don’t let his fuzziness fool you. Inside that fluffy chest is a heart of black steel.

For instance. Less than an hour or two ago, we were all hanging out in the living room after a long day at work. Shiva is still regulated to the couch, a prison that is harder and harder for her to endure every single day. In particular, tonight she has been more persistent than ever in her protests that she is well enough to walk around in perfect freedom. The veterinarian’s orders would say otherwise, so on the couch she remains.

In walks The Cat. In all his autonomous magnificence. The first thing he does, the first thing, is walk up to the dog, sniff her feet, and then lay down on the floor directly in front of her.

When I say lay down, I mean he sprawls in a fashion he would never dare if he suspected the dog had the ability to pounce on him. He knows Shiva is stuck on the couch. He doesn’t know why, but he knows when he prances in front of her, that he is safe, lest she get in serious trouble. So he revels in taunting her. It’s the same way he used to pester her when she was stuck behind the baby gate at the top of the stairs, or the way I am positive he ridicules her when she is locked in her crate during the day. It’s the haughty, prideful, cruel mocking of a true bully.

Yes, my cat is a bully and Shiva is his favourite victim. Unfortunately, he is also smarter than she is and thus, she ends up falling for his mean set-ups every single time.

After only five minutes of tail-flicking and sidelong glances, TC had Shiva completely freaking out tonight. I stopped paying attention to her for less than a second and she immediately took advantage by leaping off the couch and on top of The Cat.

A pretty big violation of her recovery strategy.

For those who might be worried about Hi Excellency’s safety, he is just fine. Better than fine. Dog antagonizing mission accomplished he walked away with his tail swinging high while we yelled at the dog while simultaneously fussing over her stitches. TC always gets the last laugh. Always.

It’s always been this way. The Cat lives to torment the dog. I sincerely believe it is one of his greatest joys. I just can’t wait for the day when Shiva is given free reign of the house again. By then she will have two weeks’ worth of energy to burn. There is a lot of damage a tornado can enact with so much force behind it. Kitty better watch out.

The sad thing is, even at her worst, Shiva ends up backing down to the merciless feline. She can fight with all of her weapons bared but in the end only one of them will end up behind the toilet. And it won’t be the orange one.

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12 Comments on My Cat is a Jerkwad

  1. Teri and the cats of Curlz and Swirlz
    November 15, 2013 at 8:36 am (9 months ago)

    I always say that if cats were as big as big dogs, they’d have a pretty bad rap, hahameow! Cute video and a very inquisitive, thoughful cat!

    Reply
  2. Lauranne
    November 15, 2013 at 3:29 pm (9 months ago)

    I love Shiva even more having read about this, and am now coming up with a way I can plot with her to help her get some revenge!! Perhaps a box full of squeaky toys – or would that just annoy you?
    Lauranne recently posted..A bad head spaceMy Profile

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  3. Melf
    November 15, 2013 at 3:44 pm (9 months ago)

    Thanks for making me laugh (or should I thank TC?). Your description was so applicable to my Nick. I miss his antics now, but boy could he be a turkey sometimes.
    When I was a pet sitter, his favorite activity was to scare a visiting doggie guest into my office and sit down in such a spot that they could not escape. He was evil. :)

    When Daisy was afraid of him, he would make a point at sitting in front if her and staring her down. She was terrified. I often had to intervene.

    You can’t help but love TC. He knows exactly what he is doing and it makes me laugh. Poor Shiva. :)
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  4. Jan K
    November 16, 2013 at 4:40 am (9 months ago)

    Our cat Katie used to live to torment the dogs. She would deliberately run by them and try to get them to chase her, knowing full well we would yell at the dogs if they did. She would stop and spin around and just stare at them, as if daring them to do something! Then the poor dogs didn’t know what to do. :)
    Jan K recently posted..This ‘N That Thursday – We Won & One Crazy CatMy Profile

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  5. Jobi and Fisher
    November 16, 2013 at 2:44 pm (9 months ago)

    I loved the video and watching the dog almost more than the cat. It seemed the dog just knew the cat wold get the door open and was patient and didn’t BARK. As for your cat – what a trip!
    Jobi and Fisher recently posted..Feelin’ GroovyMy Profile

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  6. Hawk aka BrownDog
    November 17, 2013 at 1:18 am (8 months ago)

    Hi Y’all!

    Gee golly! I need to get a cat who’ll open doors for me! Why do I need that? I forgot, when we’re at the shore I can open my own doors! I don’t need to risk the Humans bringing me a cat like “The Cat” that likes to torture Shiva!

    Paws still crossed for her quick recovery! Lookin’ forward to readin’ “Shiva’s Revenge”!

    Y’all come by now!
    Hawk aka BrownDog
    Hawk aka BrownDog recently posted..Saturday SpecialMy Profile

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  7. Kolchak, Felix & Jodi
    November 17, 2013 at 6:46 am (8 months ago)

    Do not blaspheme the good name of the Cat that way. My buddy, TC, is not “taunting” Shiva. He’s helping her practicing her impulse control because HE’S THOUGHTFUL LIKE THAT.

    *gee* no appreciation over there at all.
    Kolchak, Felix & Jodi recently posted..Dogs DaysMy Profile

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