Blackberry Purgatory: A Real Thing in the World

My mobile phone is in the midst of an identity crisis. It sounds like a joke but I couldn’t be more serious. It is stuck in cellular purgatory. Not quite a Blackberry, not quite an Android, it doesn’t know where it belongs. Half the time, it doesn’t even know it is a phone. Frankly, it is a mess. I don’t know how much longer we can co-exist.

It used to be so cool. When we first met, I felt proud to have it in my pocket. We were pals. I loved to talk up its full keyboard with its wicked email functionality. And if you have never used Blackberry Messenger, you are missing out on one of the smoothest communication systems ever implemented on a smart phone. The messaging system of a generation. And the emoticons? Don’t even get me started.

Alas, due to extenuating circumstances, we are going to have to part ways. It isn’t something I ever foresaw. Despite all of the naysayers, I have been true to my dear little phone. Applications and photography meant nothing to me. I didn’t flinch when friends went the way of Instagram and Evernote. Loyalty, that is what mattered to me. They could keep their Angry Birds and their high-speed Internet. My Blackberry and I were just fine with our app-less realm filled with blurry photos.

But, something unfortunate occurred and I was forced to make a difficult decision: my camera lost its zoom. And I mean this quite literally. The zoom button on my camera is broken. Thus, all of my photos require serious editing before they can be published online. Otherwise they look like this:

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Do you know what the subject of the above photo was supposed to be? Me neither. Anymore. Ugh. Pretty unforgivable for a blogger who spends the majority of her time posting pictures of her dog.

So maybe zoom isn't as big of an issue as my impatience and utter lack of skill. Whatevs.

So maybe zoom isn’t as big of an issue as my impatience and utter lack of skill. Whatevs.

Something had to be done. As much as it pained me, and it hurt a lot, I knew I had to make a change. The world cannot be deprived of Shiva photos. It is my sworn duty, after all. It has gotten to the point that I either spend money on a new camera or upgrade my cellular plan. A greater dilemma one has never faced.

I loved my little black phone. It was the first mobile device to give me access to email on the fly. We had a great time together, chuckling over Facebook feeds, making snarky remarks on Twitter. Unlike all of my other phones, this one understood me. It knew my distaste for personal calls and responded by having almost no calling ability whatsoever. Never once did it make me feel guilty for not answering a ring. Never once did it store a voicemail message for me not to return later. In gratitude, the only time I forced it to make a call was in the midst of a dire emergency. Even then, I made sure to keep it under a minute. I could always tell when my phone was overwhelmed by the heat in my palm. I will miss that heat. We were united in our anti-social inclinations. It never expected me to be who I wasn’t. I never demanded anything more than it was capable of providing.

This isn’t to say our relationship was perfect. There were times I took my phone for granted, neglecting it enough so as to let it fall in a puddle. Unforgivable, I know. But did it forsake me? Perish the thought! As soon as I realized my mistake and gave my phone it’s due, all was well again. My phone never held a grudge.

Sadly, things changed. My wireless company was displeased with the lack of modernization within my account. They told me I could not update my phone number from a Nova Scotia line unless I upgraded my calling plan. They didn’t understand the link between my phone and I. They especially didn’t understand my lack of calling features. They wanted to separate us forever.

For a long time, I refused. Faithful to my stocky pal, I weathered their threats and clung to the past. They couldn’t make me change. I would never let go! They would have to pry my Blackberry from my cold, dead hands.

And then my camera lost its zoom and my priorities shifted. With a new job forcing me to hustle from one meeting to the next, having a phone that could be used as a phone started to make more and more sense. I couldn’t keep paying long distance charges every time I needed to call a taxi. It was time to say goodbye.

Now, as I wait for my new phone to arrive, scared to discover uncharted land, my Blackberry isn’t what it used to be. It has forgotten how to and has all but lost connection to the outside world. The only communication we have these days is via text message. It just isn’t the same. It knows the end is coming. I wish there was something I could do to ease its transition to the next world. I wish I knew what to say or how to prepare.

The thing is, I am not as afraid as I expected I would be. The time has come to discover my next mobile relationship. It won’t be the same, it couldn’t be. I will never forget my Blackberry. It was my first glimpse of a new technological world, my first real experience of mobile freedom, of breaking out on my own without being tied down by cords and dying laptop batteries. Nevertheless, if there is anything this week has taught me, as I say farewell to my fading smart phone, it is that I am nothing if not resilient. Just as I learned how to type on my Blackberry’s keyboard, I will conquer the touch screen. I am ready to move on.

Maybe, just maybe, I’ll even set up my voice mail this time. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

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14 Comments on Blackberry Purgatory: A Real Thing in the World

  1. Kolchak, Felix & Jodi
    February 1, 2014 at 8:39 pm (6 months ago)

    Ugh, why is voicemail even a thing? Here is my outbound message. “There is nothing you can tell me in this voicemail that wouldn’t be better said in a text. Hang up now.”

    I know how attached you were to your Blackberry, so I’m sad for you that it has kicked the bucket (but really? Kudos to you for somehow making it last thing long. You are clearly a wizard.) Welcome to the brave new world. I think you’ll like it here.
    Kolchak, Felix & Jodi recently posted..It’s Too Cold to PoopMy Profile

    Reply
    • Kristine
      February 1, 2014 at 9:08 pm (6 months ago)

      I cannot lie. I already am in love with my new phone. My old phone couldn’t reply to blog comments, couldn’t manage my Facebook page, couldn’t even edit pictures. It IS a brave new world. And yet I feel so guilty.

      Reply
  2. Annie
    February 1, 2014 at 9:22 pm (6 months ago)

    when my Blackberry died I did the only thing a true bb lover could do – I put it in my sock drawer and got a new blackberry

    Reply
    • Kristine
      February 2, 2014 at 12:40 pm (6 months ago)

      My sister did the same. I am feeling a little disloyal at the moment, I must admit. But if I can’t keep my Nova Scotia number, perhaps it is time for something completely new.

      Reply
    • Jo
      February 3, 2014 at 10:00 pm (6 months ago)

      My old blackberry didn`t kick the bucket… It still worked. It wasn`t new, or fancy… the internet was slow… But I could still facebook and do all the things. But when my sister was getting a new phone I thought… maybe it`s time?

      I felt so weird and hesistant about it. Sure my little white blackberry was dirty in ways I never thought it could be. But we had a connection. It took my boyfriends push of ‘well, it’s still a blackberry, you’ll adapt to the new one’ to just dive in.

      And I am LOVING my Q5. ~_~ Best decision ever. No one can make fun of my up to date blackberry now! (but they still will…)

      Reply
    • Kristine
      February 2, 2014 at 12:38 pm (6 months ago)

      And a very tasty one at that! Though, I have always preferred raspberries.

      Reply
  3. Roxy the traveling dog
    February 2, 2014 at 7:58 am (6 months ago)

    You held out for a long time. What phone are you getting? I love my Galaxy S4 for the photos it can take. That’s a big deal for me. I hope you have a long and lovely relationship with your new phone.

    Reply
    • Kristine
      February 2, 2014 at 12:37 pm (6 months ago)

      Hahaha, thanks! I am still adjusting to the change. It is a big step for me, and another one away from the place I left behind.

      Reply
  4. Lauranne
    February 3, 2014 at 6:52 am (6 months ago)

    I’m impressed you’ve managed such a good lengthy relationship all my phones seem to get a year into the two year contract and suddenly changes the rules, turning itself off, not letting me text or answer calls! Stupid thing
    Lauranne recently posted..He’s so full of …it!My Profile

    Reply
  5. Callie, Shadow, and Ducky's Mom
    February 4, 2014 at 11:29 am (6 months ago)

    My age must be showing because I STILL don’t have a “smartphone”. And I have NO intention of getting one, either, unless my iPod Touch and my cellphone both die at the same time. My little Motorola Razr still works as well as it did the day I got it 8 years ago, and serves its purpose for me at least. Verizon continues to try to get me to switch and I absolutely refuse. I don’t have to have, nor do I necessarily want to have, internet access everywhere I go. As long as I can play electronic solitaire, I’m happy. And I don’t want to talk on the phone with someone else when I’m with my hubby. Heck, before answering machines, cellphones, voicemail, and texting, people had to wait for you to get home before they could pester you to death. They can keep on waiting. I use my phone for emergencies and talking to the girls’ pet sitter, and occasionally when I need to talk to the hubby. Otherwise, it’s turned off.
    Callie, Shadow, and Ducky’s Mom recently posted..My, How My Golden Girls Have Grown!My Profile

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  6. melF
    February 9, 2014 at 6:57 am (6 months ago)

    I remember the day my BB tried to restart on it’s own and got lost somewhere between the beginning and the end. I couldn’t turn out on or off. I loved it’s easy to access key board and the convenience of it, but since it is my only phone, and the only way for anyone to reach me, I had to give up my BB and get a new one.
    Sometimes I still miss it (mostly for the keyboard), but mostly I am glad I made the switch. I don’t even use my camera anymore. I use my phone. Wishing you happy memories with your new one!
    melF recently posted..Wordless Wednesday #71 – Snow on his faceMy Profile

    Reply
    • Kristine
      February 10, 2014 at 3:22 pm (6 months ago)

      It’s funny how many people are attached to their phones, not one person has suggested I am weird for having difficulty with the change. I suppose we all carry them everywhere with us and even though I like to think I could go a few days without it, it has become a friendly companion, like a good book. I am happy to say that my new phone and I, touch screen of doom and all, have started off a lovely new relationship!

      Reply

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