The week of top ten lists is upon us. Top Ten Books for 2010, Top Ten News Stories, Top Ten Sports Moments, Top Ten Wildest Moneky Videos, etc. It is also the week of resolutions. I’ve never been a fan of those. To me New Year’s Resolutions are mostly empty promises made by people who think they need to make changes in their lives, changes they don’t really believe in or desire. Because if they did believe in them, why would they need the cliche of the New Year in order to accomplish them?
This list isn’t about starting fresh or quitting smoking or losing ten pounds. It is more a compilation of the things I have been thinking about and working on for years. Things I have been trying to leave behind me and only now do I feel I am on the right path. It is a reminder to keep trying. It is a declaration of how far I have come. Alongside my life list, this is not a resolution, it is a mission statement.
1. Regret for things I did or did not do from 1982 to 2010. Some regret is just human, but some, like wishing I hadn’t wrote that note about my fourth grade teacher, are just ridiculous. Time to let go, methinks.
2. Guilt. Guilt for crating my dog when I leave the house even though I know it is where she would rather be. Guilt for not calling my Grandmothers enough before they died. Guilt for breaking the peach in my mother’s porcelain fruit basket. Guilt for preferring to spend time with my dog than other people. Guilt for loving cheese just a little bit more than normal.
3. All of the crap sitting in our closets. I am not a hoarder and I am not all that sentimental about my things. In fact, I always get a little thrill when I throw something away. Is that weird? But I am often too lazy to actually go through things. It’s time to pour myself a glass of wine and have some fun.
4. Negative self-talk. Some of this is normal but if I give myself free rein I can take it to harmful, debilitating levels. I am doing better, much better, and I am ready to cut the ties.
5. Fear of fear. I am a coward. I know this. I know when a new challenge appears I am going to be afraid. But knowing that I am going to be scared is not enough of a reason not to attempt it anyway. Besides, like when I went zip-lining this past fall, it is often the first step that is the hardest to make. Rather than let fear defeat me before I get up the hill, I am going to use the feeling as a reason to try something new. If I’m scared of something, I have to do it.
6. Feeling silly for being so dog-obsessed. There is nothing wrong with taking one’s pet to see Santa or having more photos of my dog on my computer than anyone else. I can’t believe I ever used to think otherwise.
7. All of my socks with holes in them. If I have to buy all new socks for 2011 then so be it.
8. Poor-quality cheese. Life is just too short to eat Cracker Barrel. It is also too short to drink Budweiser. Crappy beer and cheap cheese are definitely getting dumped this year.
9. Trying to change the essence of who I am. I can now say I am officially done with wanting to be someone else. It took a long time but I believe I am finally at the point where I have accepted the person I am. And all that entails. Instead of changing myself, I need to learn how to twist my flaws into strengths.
10. Trying to keep my dog off the couch. It’s just not happening. At this point, the “no animals on the furniture” rule has pretty much been stomped into the ground. I am still going to attempt to require her to ask for permission first, but I know this isn’t going to last either. Oh well.
11. The hope of ever sleeping in until nine ever again. It’s just not going to happen and it is time to move on.
Is there anything you are giving up or chucking out as the year ends? Have you made a New Year’s resolution that you are determined to stick to? Or, as the PH likes to say, have you quit quitting?