How To

How to irritate me – Leave passive-aggressive Facebook status updates

How to charm me – Take a gigantic piece of the cake I just baked

How to unnerve me – Look over my shoulder while I’m working

How to please me – Run back to me when I didn’t call

How to get my back up – Offer unsolicited advice

How to make me laugh – Dance without music

How to give me a headache – Meow constantly in my ear

How to flatter me – Ask me for my opinion

How to intimidate me – Exist

How to make me feel more at ease – Talk to me about your dog

How to confuse me – Lunge at someone after months of calm behaviour

How to make me smile – Circle-wag your tail

How to impress me – Learn something quickly even when I’ve been teaching it wrong

How to anger me – Show a complete lack of consideration for anyone else

How to intrigue me – Tell me something I have never heard before

How to inspire me – Find your passion and follow it

How to make me raise an eyebrow – Say or do something I know is beneath you

How to help me trust you – Refuse to talk about another behind her back

How to teach me – Offer encouragement with a smile

How to get me to dig in my heels – Tell me hundreds of other people can do it so I should too.

How to respect me – Understand why I would rather you didn’t approach my dog

How to help me – Don’t wait for me to ask

How to humble me – Act like you have no clue what I am asking you in front of the whole class

How to render me speechless – Take away my feelings of guilt

How to make me cry – Let a little child pet you on the head

How to be my friend – Cry right along with me

27 thoughts on “How To

  1. Also a little teary now. You rock. For realz.

    I loved your how to irritate me because I totally agree. Except always. Passive-aggressive-ness is one sure-fire way to make me want to vomit. Partially out of concern that it’s my fault, and partially because I want the person to just scream already.

    Side note: what is this Mutts the Magical Mystery Tour on the left of this box, here? I’m intrigued. I guess I could click on it, hm? Naw, too much work.

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    • I can’t stand passive-aggressiveness either. Drives me nuts. An old roommate of mine used to leave me notes every where just like this. It mae me want to scream. Why can’t people just be honest. If you have a problem, tell me. I deliberately ignore all such behaviour.

      It is a blog hop happening this Friday, wherein everyone will post photos of their mixed dogs and ask their readers to guess what breeds may make them up. It should be a lot of fun and you should totally join in! C’mon, you know you want to.

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  2. We can wag our tails in a circle! 🙂 We just read the post about the TV show and we say BOO to the “no treats” method of training. That does seem just cruel!

    PeeS – We are putting your treats in the mail today. Sorry it’s taken this long – scheduling conflicts 🙂

    The Road Dogs

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  3. dear kristine,

    i would very much like to charm you, if only i was close enough for that piece of cake.

    i especially like “how to make you cry”. yes, i’m definitely with you on that one.

    have a lovely day! HUG xox

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    • I would love to share the cake with you, if only it would last after however many weeks it would take to get there. I fear it would not. No one wants to receive mould in the mail. Blech.

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  4. I hate people that are passive aggressive, and it’s usually women, too. That’s why I prefer to hang out with guys over girls. Seriously, if you have a problem, just say it, I’ll respect you more for that than just silently stewing.

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