Speaking of guilt…
There are very specific conditions upon the acceptance of this honour and I have yet to fulfill any of them. Bad, bad blogger. I should give myself a time-out.
First things first. According to the very strict orders – and you know I always follow orders – I need to name five recipients of my own. Honestly? That seems like a lot of work. The people who came up with this obviously had too much time on their hands. But, rules are rules, right? As much as this sucks, here are the
five six seven I came up with:
Now for the fun part! Winners of this elite award are required to list five facts about themselves. Four are supposed to be fabrications, and one is supposed to be the whole truth and nothing but the truth. However, since I suck at coming up with creative lies, I am going to list four truths and one complete falsehood. It will probably be stunningly obvious which one falls into the latter class but humour me.
1. I have been to England twice, once for a history class. Yet, I have never once visited Stonehenge.
2. When camping with a friend as a teenager, we got lost in the woods. At the time it was a lot more terrifying than it seems now. The only way we found our way out was by crossing a raging river. It’s the closest I have ever come to a near-death experience. My parents still don’t know the story.
3. For years cats petrified me. A good friend had one and every time he walked towards me I would freeze, positive he was about to shred my ankles with his massive claws. I am still not sure how or when I overcame this fear.
4. My favourite childhood memory is of meeting Sharon, Lois, and Bram, a popular Canadian children’s musical trio. At least they were popular when I was a kid. I didn’t miss a single episode of The Elephant Show if I could help it. Lois was my idol.
5. My dream dog is a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever. They are beautiful, lively, gentle, and agile. Unfortunately, they are also hard to get. If I ever purchase a dog from a breeder, it will be a Toller. Perhaps if I get my name on a waiting list now, this dream will come true before I die.
Now it is your turn! Can you tell which one is the bald-faced lie?