Shiva 1, Human 0

Looking at this innocent face, it is easy to forget that Shiva the Dog is, in fact, totally insane.

Don’t make the same mistake we do and let those soft brown eyes fool you. If you let your guard down for one minute, the next she will be flying through a drive-through window and you will never be able to show your face in your local coffee shop again.

Let’s back up a little.

One almost sunny Sunday morning, Shiva and her tired human were on their way to the dog park. Being so tired, the human decided to stop for a cup of coffee at the Tim Horton’s just around the corner from the park entrance. It was his usual habit and the employees of the establishment know him and his excited little dog well. If Shiva was good, she was often rewarded with a Timbit.

Plain, of course.

For those uninitiated in the wonders of Tim’s, Timbits are essentially bite-sized doughnut balls. They come in multiple varieties from chocolate and coconut to strawberry-filled. I’m not entirely certain how they got their name. Naturally, Shiva is fascinated by them. Since they are not exactly good for dogs and we almost never buy them for ourselves, she usually only gets to indulge if there happens to be a dog-lover running the drive-through. There was one unfortunate day last year when unbeknownst to me, an acquaintance of ours fed her almost an entire box of the over-sugared pastries. The end results were not pretty.

But I digress. All you really need to know is that Shiva goes crazy for Timbits. Now every time we pull into a drive-through window – it doesn’t even have to be a Tim Horton’s – she starts whining and jumping around in anticipation of doughnut bliss. The Sunday morning under discussion was no different.

As the human pulled up to the open window, he glanced over to make sure Shiva was staying put in her seat. Being sly, she was able to control her obviously overwhelming excitement. Shiva knew if she appeared calm, he would turn his back on her and give her the opening she needed to strike.

Everything went according to plan. Shiva’s plan, that is. The foolish human, taken in by her expression of purity, reached for his wallet to pay for the coffee. He was so focussed on the incoming caffeine he didn’t even notice the dog next to him getting into position. By the time he realized his dog had lost her mind, it was too late: Shiva was already sailing through the open truck window.

If a dog was capable of laughter, I am pretty sure Shiva’s would have been maniacal.

Not only did she leap directly through the truck window as if it was a tire jump on an agility course, she continued her leap right through the window of the drive-through, eyes on the box of Timbits on the counter. If it wasn’t so awful, the human would have admired her perfect extension. It truly was an incomparable feat.

The woman working at the window was unsurprisingly stunned. I can’t say what I’d do if a dog flew at me like tha t with mouth wide, ears flapping, and eyes glazed over. Amazingly, she had the presence of mind to grab Shiva’s leash. If not, the consequences would have been much worse. I picture flying bagels, gobbled muffins, and many traumatized customers. Tim Horton’s clearly hires people good at thinking on their feet. Either that or this isn’t the first time the woman has dealt with wacko dogs diving towards them.

She also happened to be really nice and told the human he could drive around to the front. She would return his dog to him at the door. The human relates he was momentarily tempted to just keep driving.

For the record, this is why I usually insist Shiva sits in the back seat. Some sort of restraint is also not a bad idea. Preferably cast iron chains with a padlock.

78 thoughts on “Shiva 1, Human 0

    • I wish we had video too! The first thing I said after the PH told me the story was “did you get a picture?”

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  1. Tears in my eyes laughing (your PH will not be my friend if you tell him that!

    Clearly the agility training IS paying off– she can generalize to other situations!

    And c’mon girl: Timbits = bits of Tim Horton doughnuts. (They’re actually doughnut holes– the bit of dough punched out when they make the centre hole.) 🙂

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    • They aren’t actually doughnut holes, are they? I mean, I know they are supposed to be but I thought they were made separately. Clearly my Canadian citizenship should be revoked.

      He won’t mind as he hardly ever reads this blog and doesn’t even know I told the story. Mwahaha!

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    • Hahahahaha! You are too funny. 🙂

      Well, I would have given her more but she was negative three points for the not-so-graceful skid off the counter and on to the floor.

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  2. Oh Shiva… you may win the award for the best way to embarrass your human!! Well done Shiva!

    Shayne almost did that at the Wendy’s last week… I stopped to get the dogs a vanilla frosty after a long hike and the worker at the restaurant was baby-talking them and she almost went out the window…luckily she has SOME self restraint

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    • Nooooo! Don’t encourage her!

      Ha! It’s always nice to know other dogs are just as insane. Sometimes I wonder if we did too good a job at restoring her confidence.

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  3. First, that picture is absolutely precious!! Second, great story!! Emmett tried to jump through the Starbucks window once – I always get him a “puppy latte” – but luckily he only got as far as jumping over my lap and putting his paws on the window ledge. This is probably one of those things that you’ll be laughing about in a couple days. 🙂

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    • Emmett is so cute. He must have charmed the entire staff! Shiva’s methods are a little less charming, more terrifying. She’ll learn manners one day, I hope.

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  4. 😀
    hilarious. Sooo very hilarious!
    I will definitely not be teaching Gwynn about the glorious timbit, because I want never ever to have to deal with something like that. But I do wish I’d been in the Tims (and somehow within sight of the drivethru counter) when that had happened to you!

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  5. what an amazing feat of agility! through the car window, sailing in the air and through the drive-through window??? OMG, my heart would’ve stopped if i’d been there! chains and a padlock sound like a really good idea :p

    timbits? i’m trying to imagine them. they wouldn’t be really fattening, by any chance?

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  6. Oh Shiva, thank you so much for my Monday morning laugh, or should I say loud outburst of hysterics that caused my co-workers to ask what the hell was so funny…so naturally I shared.
    Poor Human…outsmarted again 😉

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  7. Okay, so I know that was horrible for you guys to live through but I AM SO GLAD YOU SHARED.

    That is one amazing story. I mean, that takes talent. She’s probably been prepping for it all those times she goes through the tunnel or the hoop jumps in agility. Just thinking, “soon… soon, I will get my chance… and all the donut holes will be mine!”

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    • LOL. Our little canine schemer. She must have been taking tips from The Cat.

      It wasn’t so horrible for me, though I don’t think I’ll feel comfortable going back for a little while. It was much worse for the man. 😉

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    • That sounds about right.

      Yes, the staff ended up giving her more than her fair share, much to the man’s chagrin. We hardly need such behaviour reinforced!

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  8. I am trying to stifle laughter at my desk, but it’s proving difficult – this was hilarious to read (though I assume mortifying to experience)!

    Moses also has a major love of Timbits. It is probably because The Husband does renovations/contracting, so Moses is able to go to work with him a lot and is therefore on a lot of job sites. Also on a lot of job sites – Timbits. He flashes his brown eyes at one electrician and it’s as many Timbits as he wants.

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    • Timbits, they are addicting. 🙂 Shiva has eaten enough to last her a lifetime, despite the fact we never buy them ourselves. I am sure Shiva is very jealous of Moses right now.

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    • LOL. Don’t worry, it’s not going to happen again anytime soon. Though I am sure she will do her best to try again!

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  9. Haha wow! This post was a great way to start Monday morning. I can totally picture it in my mind. So did she get a timbit after all that work?

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  10. Now that IS impressive! Maybe Shiva should have a second career as a circus dog :O

    I knew a lady who owned a malamute that was crazy for Tim’s. The dog would regularily escape the yard, go to the Tim’s and line up with the cars at the drive thru! How’s that for obsession?

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    • Now THAT is impressive. He even waited in line? I don’t think Shiva is quite that dedicated. But I bet it got him what he wanted every single time.

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  11. AHAHAHAA! Talk about ROFL! That is definently one of the funniest (and by funny, I mean both haha and strange) thing I have read in a long time!

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  12. Glad Shiva wasn’t hurt and the woman took it so well.

    It’s law here to have your dog restrained in a car. I have a simple strap that goes into the seatbelt socket and then clips to Song’s collar.

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  13. OMD, I wish you videoed too! But then the best stuff springs out of nowhere! Ryker will stomp all over me trying to get to the window but never dreamed of jumping out…I think?
    Thanks, this should keep us laughing for a long,long time.

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    • Beware, stomping is just the first step.

      Shiva has jumped out of the truck window before, just never quite in this way. I am so glad she had her leash on!

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  14. Oh, thank you, Kristine, for writing so well what your PH went through as well as the window attendant – I would say Shiva used all her agility training to her advantage; what a belly laugh! OMGoodness! Did she get a Timbit? Several of us need to know! HAHAHAHAHA

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    • Yep, she did, unfortunately. Next time, if there is a next time, we are going to have to pay a lot more attention and not let her calm behaviour fool us. She has become a lot more sneaky than I ever would have imagined.

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  15. Oh, that is the best Monday story I’ve read in a long, long time! Thank gosh our dogs aren’t the only ones capable of embarrassing the daylights out of us! This really sounds like it could have happened to my husband!

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    • Now that is a relief! Not that I want it to happen to anyone else but it would make me feel better if other dogs were just as insane, despite being so well-trained in many other areas.

      I mean, with all the money we have spent on Shiva’s classes, you’d think she’d have a little self-control by now!

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    • She is something. I am leaning more toward the crazy than the smart. One of our trainers just recently told me she is a “tornado on a leash”. An apt description, no doubt!

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  16. In my usual habit, I read this post this morning even though I knew I’d have to pedal my bike at least 20+ mph to get to work on time. I spit my juice all over the the monitor (you should know Macs are not Shiva-proof; mine’s looking pretty rough right now).

    This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read and you did a great job telling the story. I suspect it’s particularly funny because it didn’t happen to you. 🙂

    Thanks to people who like to toss doggy treats into open car windows, Honey gets excited at every drive-up bank teller, toll taker, and fast food restaurant. Luckily, she hasn’t flown through the air in response yet. But if she does, you’ll be the first to know.

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  17. I am rolling on the floor, literally laughing my ass off over here. Oh Shiva THANK YOU! I no longer have to live in fear that Koly will be the first dog I know to launch himself into a drive thru. I’m making my own PH read this as a cautionary tale. Maybe Shiva was just practicing her tire jumping skills? Drive thru windows are about the same size?

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  18. What a crack up! I can see it all in my minds eye as it’s something Frankie could possibly do. Luckily I never go through drive throughs. He did jump out of my car window once when I parked my car in town and forgot to wind up my window. He was just mooching around, thankfully not on the road!

    Life with Shiva is NEVER going to be boring:)

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  19. BOL! Good one Shiva! Aren’t drive throughs the best?! 😀

    I haven’t tried flying through the window yet. Brilliant idea! 😀

    Waggin at ya,
    Roo

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  20. WOW! That would have made a great video. For some reason I never put it together that you lived in Canada, we had tim hortons when we would go see family there. The sour cream donuts are awesome.

    Luna has almost done similar things when given treats at the counter. One of these days she will sail up there, until then I will try and catch her cues and stop her as I have been. She is way too agile for her own good.

    I would totally suggest a harness for the car, one that snaps right into the seat belt buckle thing, not the straps so you can determine the length. We have used them with great success, and it’s safer anyway.

    Anna
    http://www.akginspiration.com

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  21. That is hilarious (especially thanks to the quick thinking employee who minimized the potential for disaster by grabbing that leash)! Wow… I think if this isn’t an argument for a seatbelt, I don’t know what is!

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  22. “To ensure the safety of your pet and our employees, we ask that you please restrain dogs (especially really cute blackish-grey ones named Shiva) in the back seat of your vehicle. Thank you. Management”

    Bet the lady at the coffee shop has told this story a few ways from Sunday. OMG!

    P.S. We have similar “fake” donut holes called “Munchkins” at Dunkin Donuts. YUM!

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  23. My doggie- who looks a bit like Shiva does the same thing when we go through the bank drive up. They have dogs treats, of course she knows that, and of course she lunges towards my window and makes my check, deposit slip and pen go flying

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  25. I’ve just been directed to this post by Jodi… I can just imagine your horror (and also slight pride) at the doughnut leap. 😀 This is one of the funniest doggy faux pas I’ve heard, though I suppose it’s not a faux pas if you’re Shiva, but more a calculated ‘bloody good move’.

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  26. Wow, that is amazing, truly amazing. If only there was someway you could harness that ability to soar through the air towards some sort of dog event, maybe as a water dog haha, you might have a champion as long as a tidbit is the bait!

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