I received an email from my practically mother-in-law that made me laugh out loud. It was one of those cute forwards, filled with fuzzy puppy and kitten photos. While I can never get enough of adorable pictures, it was the sentiment behind this particular email that stayed with me. I thought it might be fun to come up with my own variation on the same theme.
If I didn’t have a dog or a cat…
I could sleep in till seven am every single day. I wouldn’t be woken at half-three by a crazed feline chasing invisible mice.
My arms wouldn’t ache from sweeping the floors five times a day. The mop would gather dust in a closet. Friends wouldn’t smirk at the sight of my hair-covered pants. I wouldn’t be embarrassed by the random hole in my sweater, created by nails too long untrimmed.
I could eat breakfast unbothered by staring eyes.
Pizza would be delivered to our home without hours of preparation. The mail carrier wouldn’t drop our packages in puddles.
I could sit on the couch instead of curling up on the floor. The leather furniture wouldn’t be destroyed due to dirty paws. My blanket would smell like laundry detergent.
Not wet canine.
I would still have my favourite pink flat-iron. We wouldn’t have to put tin foil around all our loose cords.
I wouldn’t trip over antlers in the dark. My shins would still be unscarred.
There would be dozens of of fancy shoes in my closet. I would still know how to walk in heels. My coat pockets would be smooth and empty, not filled with poop bags and stained with kibble dust.
My bank account wouldn’t break out in tears on a daily basis. I could afford better quality cheese. Our dog trainer’s great-great-grandchildren wouldn’t have their university degrees paid for.
We could take regular trips and stay at hotels and go out for expensive meals. We could go out at night after working all day without feeling guilty. We could fly on airplanes.
I wouldn’t know the beauty of a winter sunrise. The only exercise I would receive is walking from the bus stop to my home.
There would be no laughing at puppy antics or cuddling with warm, furry bodies. I wouldn’t fully understand the joy of sharing the simple things. I wouldn’t get to come up with sarcastic retorts when I hear people say, “it’s just a dog.”
I wouldn’t have met some of the kindest people I have ever known.
If I didn’t have a dog or a cat, I would probably be cleaner, dressed nicer, and far richer. But I wouldn’t be nearly as happy.