Last night I sat on the couch, staring off into nothing, while my PH played a rough game of tug with Shiva. Their bursts of laughter and growls were muted in the background of my thoughts. There was too much on my mind for me to appreciate the happy scene just several feet away. For one, I didn’t accomplish nearly as much as I should have at work earlier in the day. Deadlines are creeping up and I worried about getting it all done in time. On top of that, I stressed over the lack of training Shiva and I have done in preparation for our final contacts and weaves workshop next week. And on top of that, I still didn’t have an idea for the next day’s blog post. The more I stewed about things, the less I felt like doing anything about them. The longer I brooded, the more things I added to my to-do list, and the more I wanted to crawl under the blanket and hide.
Eventually my PH noticed my lack of participation in life and stopped playing with our dog.
“Is everything okay?” He asked, because he’s kind like that.
“Hmmm?” I broke out of my downward spiral. “Yes, I’m fine. Just thinking.”
Being observant, he knew better than to take my word for it. He offered the tug toy that was in his hand, Shiva still hanging off the end of it.
“Would you like a dog?”
“Yes, yes I would.”
Shaking off the fog, I jumped into the game. After a few crazy minutes of laughing and growling myself, it hit me. All the pondering over life and my lack of accomplishment wasn’t getting me any further along. I was missing the point.
Back in January – feels like several lifetimes ago – I declared 2012 to be my Year of Zoomery. I haven’t done a very good job of embracing my inner zoomer. To me, the word means taking risks, living in the moment, and not worrying about what others might think. It also means making mistakes and not beating myself up about things. A real zoomer is as kind to herself as she tries to be to everyone else. Somehow in working so hard to get things done, I forgot the things that really matter.
It doesn’t matter if I publish a compelling blog post every day. Truthfully, the more I force it, the less interesting my writing becomes. Far better to write less often and more from the heart. Blogging is a hobby and should be fun! As should be working with my dog. If I incorporate more games into our training, we’ll both have a better time. It’s not about how many tricks Shiva knows or if she has a perfect two-on-two-off. That stuff will probably just fall into place the more time we spend playing around.
Work, I guess, isn’t always about fun. However, work is work and worrying about it while hanging out with my family at home isn’t doing my job or me any good. Sometimes, I can allow myself to shut off. I highly doubt anyone will die if I do. At least, not many people. Sometimes, as I learned from Pamela and Honey, relaxing is actually more productive than doing.
And sometimes, ya just gotta dance on the couch.