Overheard at the Dog Park

– “No, no, no, NO, NOOO, NOOOOOOOO!”

– “I know it looks like she is trying to kill that other dog, but that’s just how she plays.”

– Bragging woman: “Charlie is such a great dog. I didn’t even train him. He’s just perfect. Never runs away, never jumps up. He is just sooooo smart.”

Thirty seconds later.

Bragging woman: “Wait, where’s my dog?”

– “That’s not my dog rolling in that fish, right? RIGHT???”

– “Just because this is an off-leash area, it doesn’t give their dog a right to run around.”

– “Border collies are the best dogs ever. Everyone should get one. Then everyone would get along.”

– “Dude, that dog just stole my cheeseburger.”

– “Shit! Do you think anyone will notice if I don’t pick that up?”

– Well-dressed man: “Have you ever heard of a Cane Corso before?”

Friend: “No.”

Well-dressed man: “I think they made it up. That dog isn’t a purebred anything. Not like my Malti-Poo.”

– “Is it illegal for a dog to kill a squirrel? I think Bowser just got another one.”

– Teenager #1: “Do you know that those metal posts are for?”

Teenager #2: “They are containers for poo bags.”

Teenager #1: “Poo bags? Doesn’t the city clean that up?”

– “Oh look! A dog beach! What a perfect spot for a picnic.”

– Grossed-out woman: “Are those two dogs doing what I think they are doing?”

Friend: “Maybe we should give them some privacy?”

26 thoughts on “Overheard at the Dog Park

  1. BOL wow it sounds like the dog park is a never-ending source of entertainment! I’ve never been to one. If we ever did, I’m afraid Kelly would be the cause of many of those statements. Thanks for the chuckle this morning!!

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  2. This post is like a classic movie–i laughed, i cried, i was frustrated, i laughed again, and then I shook my head disapprovingly and then it ended with another good laugh.

    Some of them are just so sad (some would be HILARIOUS if they weren’t so sad because they are true).

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  3. Oh Kristine! BOL BOL BOL! I can’t wipe the grin off my face. Some of it sounds scarily familiar. Dog park people all over the world must somehow be related. Malti-poo man… Oh lord, I hope he’s not procreating!

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    • Everything on this blog is always one hundred percent authentic. With maybe the tiniest pinch of salt. 😉

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  4. Hi Kristine, we hope that you’re well – at least well enough to do a partial walk or run. Don’t hurt yourself – not worth it. We don’t get to go to dog parks, my peeps are a little afraid of off-leash dogs marauding round. We’ve heard enough stories and seen enough people who need real training and help.

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  5. You really need to start planning a documentary set in your dog park. You have the characters and situations and dialogue already.

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  6. Those are some really good ones! I don’t go to dog parks much myself…for obvious reasons.

    I like just hearing dogs names, called or yelled in various stages of frustration. My all-time personal favorite was “Sprocket! Sprocket!…..SPROCKET!!!!!”

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  7. Things you are most likely to hear me say at the dog park:
    “Larry, that is not your chucker” as he jumps 4′ in the air at a person trying to throw the ball for their dog. This happens regardless of whether or not we have his chucker with us.
    “I’m sorry. She’s a Beagle” after getting Junebug and her nose out of someone’s bag looking for a treat. Amazingly enough everyone, including the people with the bucket of KFC in the dog park, have been very good natured about where her nose takes her.

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  8. These park areas are usually not fenced in, and/or often demand that dogs must stay on leash while on site..

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  10. Cheeseburgers and picnics… UGH, two of my biggest pet peeves to happen at a dog park.

    I can relate to this list.

    The latest one I heard, as a Great Dane was jumping up on a woman:
    Dane owner: “She’s projecting friendship on ya!”
    Woman getting jumped: “If she keeps jumping, she’s going to project much more…”

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