Shiva 1, Human 0

As I am on a vacation of sorts this week I am spending my time with my in-person family instead of my blogging one. Instead of trying to fit in new posts, I thought I’d re-hash some old ones. The one I am sharing today I originally posted in June of 2011. It definitely tops the list I shared with you yesterday. Many of our friends still bring it up to my PH’s permanent humiliation.

Looking at this innocent face, it is easy to forget that Shiva the Dog is, in fact, totally insane.

Don’t make the same mistake we do and let those soft brown eyes fool you. If you let your guard down for one minute, the next she will be flying through a drive-through window and you will never be able to show your face in your local coffee shop again.

Let’s back up a little.

One almost sunny Sunday morning, Shiva and her tired human were on their way to the dog park. Being so tired, the human decided to stop for a cup of coffee at the Tim Horton’s just around the corner from the park entrance. It was his usual habit and the employees of the establishment know him and his excited little dog well. If Shiva was good, she was often rewarded with a Timbit.

Plain, of course.

For those uninitiated in the wonders of Tim’s, Timbits are essentially bite-sized doughnut balls. They come in multiple varieties from chocolate and coconut to strawberry-filled. I’m not entirely certain how they got their name. Naturally, Shiva is fascinated by them. Since they are not exactly good for dogs and we almost never buy them for ourselves, she usually only gets to indulge if there happens to be a dog-lover running the drive-through. There was one unfortunate day last year when unbeknownst to me, an acquaintance of ours fed her almost an entire box of the over-sugared pastries. The end results were not pretty.

But I digress. All you really need to know is that Shiva goes crazy for Timbits. Now every time we pull into a drive-through window – it doesn’t even have to be a Tim Horton’s – she starts whining and jumping around in anticipation of doughnut bliss. The Sunday morning under discussion was no different.

As the human pulled up to the open window, he glanced over to make sure Shiva was staying put in her seat. Being sly, she was able to control her obviously overwhelming excitement. Shiva knew if she appeared calm, he would turn his back on her and give her the opening she needed to strike.

Everything went according to plan. Shiva’s plan, that is. The foolish human, taken in by her expression of purity, reached for his wallet to pay for the coffee. He was so focussed on the incoming caffeine he didn’t even notice the dog next to him getting into position. By the time he realized his dog had lost her mind, it was too late: Shiva was already sailing through the open truck window.

If a dog was capable of laughter, I am pretty sure Shiva’s would have been maniacal.

Not only did she leap directly through the truck window as if it was a tire jump on an agility course, she continued her leap right through the window of the drive-through, eyes on the box of Timbits on the counter. If it wasn’t so awful, the human would have admired her perfect extension. It truly was an incomparable feat.

The woman working at the window was unsurprisingly stunned. I can’t say what I’d do if a dog flew at me like tha t with mouth wide, ears flapping, and eyes glazed over. Amazingly, she had the presence of mind to grab Shiva’s leash. If not, the consequences would have been much worse. I picture flying bagels, gobbled muffins, and many traumatized customers. Tim Horton’s clearly hires people good at thinking on their feet. Either that or this isn’t the first time the woman has dealt with wacko dogs diving towards them.

She also happened to be really nice and told the human he could drive around to the front. She would return his dog to him at the door. The human relates he was momentarily tempted to just keep driving.

For the record, this is why I usually insist Shiva sits in the back seat. Some sort of restraint is also not a bad idea. Preferably cast iron chains with a padlock.

14 thoughts on “Shiva 1, Human 0

  1. Holy Toledo! I know you have often spoken of Shiva’s craziness – but this is just off the charts! Gosh, she really makes my past dogs seem like sane specimens! LOL! Aren’t you so so SO glad that wasn’t you that happened to??

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    • Thanks, glad to know that I have the sympathy of all the loyal readers. I will never live this moment down, sometimes I wonder if I should have kept it to myself, I cannot go anywhere now without the pointing and whispers saying “that’s the guy with the donut dog” or some such thing.
      I may need to change my identity.

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  2. This is the best Shiva story. EVER.

    P.H. I think you should spin it, “see I was working with my dog, teaching her to jump through things. ” 🙂

    Call Tim’s and see if they’ll shoot a commercial.

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  3. Hahaha! I know, deep down, that this is soooo terrible, but I cannot help but fall more in love with Shiva. Everything she does just makes me laugh so much and your story-telling skills can’t be beat.

    I hope you enjoy your vacation time!

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  4. We love drive thru – the person in the window always asks if they can give us a treat. Well duh!!! Of course. Hand them doughnuts over and we’ll let you keep your fingers. Yikes!!!

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