I Write More Letters

Dear Driver of the Ford Ranger That Almost Hit Me and My Dog While You Ran a Red Light,

You suck.


Terrified Dog Walker Who is Just Grateful to be Alive


Dear Foster Kittens,

I am new to this fostering deal. Really, this is only the second time I’ve done this. I have absolutely nothing to base this on but I gotta say, all three of you are the cutest little bundles of fur I have ever cuddled. You are sweet, you are funny, and you have yet to insert your sharp teeth into my skin. You are proof that three are definitely better than one. You all validate everything I’ve ever said about early socialization being crucial to developing stable personalities.

It’s going to be very hard to say goodbye when you are big enough for adoption. In a perfect world, I would keep you all. You were the best Valentine’s gift a girl could have. I am going to miss you.


Your Temporary Litter Box Cleaner


Dear Shiva,

I want to thank you for your patience. I haven’t made things easy on you lately and have instead put a lot of weight on your well-muscled shoulders. You’ve handled it with style. Despite not getting to do as much together as we normally do, you’ve retained your sanity. I promise a lot of fun is on the way.

I love your silliness and, secretly, I don’t even really mind it when you jump on me in the morning, spilling my coffee everywhere. Okay, I do mind the coffee all over my pants. I only have so many pairs suitable for the office and laundry is my least favourite chore. But then you wag your tail and lean your head against me and all is forgiven.

It is my unshakeable belief that as long as you keep wiggling your bum and jumping on registration tables, everything will be okay. Don’t ever change.


Your Hopeful Human

Dear Kind Dog Park Man,

I’m sorry I doubted you. I should have known that someone who is willing to slip on icy paths at six in the morning is automatically a kindred spirit. You are a fellow member of the pre-dawn dog walking society. You live in Pretentiousville and yet you proudly show off your goofy mixed-breed pals. We should be instant friends. You, of all people, get it.

I am even more sorry to hear your smaller dog was attacked. I am a selfish heel for not looking beyond my own issues. Obviously there could be many reasons you stayed away from us at the park. It’s awful that this time was one in which the little guy was hurt. I am so glad he is okay. And not just because he is Shiva’s favourite little buddy.

It was great to see all three of your again this morning. I hope you enjoyed the rest of your walk.


Your Fellow Mutt Lover


Dear Dragon’s Den hosts,

It is too bad you felt the need to denigrate a presenter’s business simply because it was about helping senior dogs. Many of you didn’t even bother to ask questions about the entrepreneur’s financials. The fact that it was a business that involved selling diapers for dogs was enough for you to say no.

I wish you hadn’t felt the need to draw a line between helping people and helping animals. I don’t understand why the two have to be mutually exclusive. To help animals isn’t to ignore the needs of humans. The two intersect much more often than you are aware. It’s too bad you can’t see that.

In the end, it’s your loss. The pet industry is growing exponentially. No doubt the business owner is better off without you anyway. More money for her.



Dear High Cost of Heating Oil,

You suck.


Broke Renter Who is Running Out of Clean Blankets

23 thoughts on “I Write More Letters

  1. Clever post.

    I have two files on my hard drive that grow ever larger. One is called “Mental health letters to sucky people” and the other is “Love letters to those who can’t read.”


  2. Hi Kristine. Glad you & Shiva are okay! Your letter to that driver is a lot milder than my own would have been! Love your writing style!


  3. So glad you and Shiva are okay and when do we get to see pictures of those little foster babies? I think sibling kittens are the bestest – I forever be a person that adopts a little brother and sister . .you know, someday when I don’t already have 3 cats that could care less about each other. I still miss those little babies we fostered – they were the best!! I hope it starts to warm up where you are!!


  4. Dear Kristine, You do make me laugh, think and smile:)

    On behalf of the foster kittens, thank you for taking the time to help us so we can find our forever homes.

    On behalf of Shiva (yep, she emailed me and asked me to write this for her), No matter what you say or do I will always love you.


  5. Here’s hoping things like crappy drivers get better (we’ve almost been hit too and am so glad that I insist on the dog(s) walking beside me and not in front, it was so close that I hit the car with my fist to get the driver to stop) and hopefully it’ll warm up soon! As for those kittens, we want pictures too!! Isn’t it great how a quick snuggle can make things seem better? : )


  6. Kristine,

    I’m really sorry you were almost run over by a car, that Shiva’s fav buddy was attacked and that you probably are running short of suitable office wear… I hope you have better days and climate ahead.

    Apart from sympathy, I would really like to say thank you… for bringing a smile on my face, driving a gloom of a stressed workweek away, and for smiling and writing such joyful letters…

    You gave me what I was looking for a long while… a break…. 🙂

    thanks once again.

    Lov to Shiva.


  7. I love your letters, Kristine! You are not afraid to say what you think, or admit when you might have been wrong. I think that is great. It sounds like you have had a lot going on, and you have such a great sense of humor! That is such a good thing to have, it’s one of the things that keeps life from driving us over the edge I think. I am not familiar with Dragon’s Den, but I think it’s similar to “Shark Tank” here in the USA. Anyone who passes on a business opportunity in any pet related field is foolish…it’s one of the largest growing industries! 🙂


  8. I love your humor. Great letters each and every one of them.

    Sorry to hear about Shiva’s friend getting attacked. Is this the same person you were worried about?


  9. Love these letters and it is good news that the dog-walking guy is back and his dog is ok although I am sad to hear about the attack.

    Can’t wait to see pictures of kittens (hint hint)!

    So really – someone tried to run you down? Uncool. But I am glad you and Shiva were not harmed.


  10. I’m so glad you didn’t get run over!

    And that’s good/bad to hear about your dog walking buddy. I’m glad it didn’t scare him away that you confessed Shiva’s problems. Too bad about his little dog, though. I hope you were able to write this letter because they’re out and about again.

    Your blog readers demand kitten pictures, asap.


  11. Dear Kristine:
    Thanks for protecting my grandpuppy – thanks for being such a wonderful foster mom to the kittens – thanks for entertaining the world with your blog – and most of all thanks for being you.


  12. Loved these letters Kristine. I’m way behind on all my blogs, but glad to hear that you worked things out with you fellow dog walker after all! 🙂

    And that’s awesome that you are fostering the trio of kittens. Hope they find great homes soon! 🙂


  13. Great letters. It sounds like you have a new friend in Kind Dog Park Man. I’m glad.

    I’ve been tempted lately to print out little business cards I could hand out to people or houses I pass when I’m walking around town.

    Here are a few I’ve thought of:

    Thank you for keeping your sidewalk clear of snow and ice. You make this pedestrian very happy.

    And, Great job training your dog. I can see the progress every time we walk by.

    Oh, and then there are the mean and obscene ones but I won’t damage the karma of your site by repeating them here. 🙂


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