If the Walls Could Talk

I can be a repetitive person. A person of routine. There are phrases I utter with great frequency without realizing. This was shoved in my face the other day when, after interrupting one of Shiva’s daily barkfests at the back door, I overheard our downstairs neighbour mimicking my words. I guess I do say the same thing almost every time. No doubt it would get annoying.


The challenge is, we share a Queen Anne revival-style home with thin creaky floorboards and sparse insulation. It is beautiful and I love it. However, the sound-related aspects are a problem. My neighbours may disagree but I think it is we who suffer the most. Between Stompy in the flat upstairs and the transient crew in and out of the basement suite, life in the middle can be awkward. And I mean that to the fullest extent of the word. Let your imaginations take you all sorts of stunning and icky places.


So when it comes down to it, I don’t feel all that bad about the the constant phrasings my neighbours overhear. If anything, we should start charging them for the free entertainment. My PH and I have some pretty wicked conversations.

Here is an idea of what you might hear at any given time if you tipped your ear to our walls:

“Shiva! Chill!”

“Cat! Caaaaaaaat! Stop eating yourself.”

“Do my pants really taste that good?”

“Sit! I said, sit. Ahem.”

“Go lay down. All the way. No really, all the way.”

“Is it time for bed?”

“Really Sheevs, really??”


“Voice box removal. We need to start saving now.”

“You worry too much.”

“Are you happy?”


“The city would make a killing if they put a red-light camera on that intersection.”

“Seriously? You seriously think that’s going to get you a treat?”

“We have the cutest dog in the world.”



“Shiva! C’mere! Want a treat?”

“There is nothing on television. Why do we have cable again?”

“Want a drink?”

“You are awesome, dog.”

I’ll let you decide who most often says what and to whom it is directed.

Do you find yourself saying the same things over and over again? Or do we just need to get out more?

10 thoughts on “If the Walls Could Talk

  1. I have some stock phrases which I didn’t realise I said all the time until the ex picked up on them and whenever he would say them I would mock him.

    I think so many of us repeat ourselves, the worst part is I know find I am repeating blog posts thinking I should write that, then I look back and have already written it. I don’t think there’s any hope for me?!


  2. Oh yes. I am also a creature of routine and there are a bazillion phrases you will hear at any given moment:
    Jasper, go lay down.
    No really, go lay down.
    Cup, no barking.
    Come here Daisy. (This is her cue that she can get on the couch.)
    Come here Maggie (This is Maggie’s cue to move closer to me before Daisy gets on the couch and sits on her.)
    Jasper, go get your ball. Where is your ball?
    Go inside Maggie.

    I think you get the picture. 🙂

    BTW – I lived in the middle apartment of a building for many years. I agree with it being the worst. The one thing I still remember was the woman who lived upstairs with her roommate. When the roommate left and the boyfriend came over there would be no sleep. Our building was one of 4 that formed a courtyard. In the summer, no one got any sleep. no joke. It was that loud.


  3. Jimmy, SHUT UP! is uttered countless times a day! Fortunately we are in a single family house so the neighbors don’t have to hear it except for the brief time of year the windows can actually be open.


  4. Our townhouses are remarkably soundproof. They were built to be “luxury” type places (albeit late 70s luxury, so I have a wet bar in the living room but a bathroom modern builders would laugh at.) Although, I always worry that that’s just a fantasy, because both of my neighbors live alone.

    The one that kills me: we put Silas out on the patio at night and he gets really caught up in listening. So we have to remind him, “Go bathroom, buddy!” I say this quietly. My husband says it loud enough that I can hear it upstairs with all the doors and windows closed.


  5. Oh, yeah. Some days I feel like I could just record a few key phrases and let the tape player do my job. We used to live in a condo where we could hear lots of different… things… so I feel your pain!


  6. I’m not only guilty of this – I am guilty of echoing the commonly repeated phrases. So it goes something like, “What’s up, Buttercup? What’s up, Buttercup?”

    I catch myself doing it more and more (see?) and I want to smack myself. What IS that?


  7. lol, i definitely share a few stock phrases with you!
    My most common is probably “Sit… I can see you!”
    and, Gwynn’s favourite is “Do you want to go for a walk?”, and causes him to run excitedly to my side, facing towards where we need to go to get to the back door 😛


Comments are closed.