Flailing but not alone

I hope you will forgive me tonight. I am obligated to write and I have so many things swirling that need to be said, that should be said, no, screamed, so that everyone can hear and appreciate. Yet, I am too sad, too in the moment to make them clear enough for anyone to understand. Is there a point in talking to the void without expectation of being known?

It is possible, if only for its therapeutic potential.

My good friend said goodbye to a family member today. It was as hard as it would be. There is no other way to experience it but to expect the ugly and know that it is the only way. It sucks. It isn’t fair. I wish I could make it better. Nothing can make it better.

I had other things to say tonight. Words kindling beauty and promise and, hopefully, humour. There is a time for these things. It might even be now. If I were a better writer I could share them. Alas, I am flailing. I don’t have it in me to come up with anything appropriate. All I can do is look to tomorrow. It won’t be better but it might be easier.

5 thoughts on “Flailing but not alone

  1. How very sad. My heart is with your friend. It
    Is never easy to say goodbye, especially when it seems so final. I am certain the words will come when they are meant to Kristine. Knowing you are there and care means most now.


  2. Firstly you are an amazing writer (hell I can’t even spell writer as I just tried to put two t’s into it!)

    Secondly, sending a hug. I know it is no help now but it will get better, it will get easier and you will have days or moments when it isn’t. But eventually those days will become fewer and those moments shorter. No less painful, but shorter.

    If it helps you to write, then write. Don’t worry about it making sense, don’t worry about it flowing.

    I know it doesn’t help but life does suck – in fact sometimes it royally sucks. But just like you can’t have day without night, you can’t have happy without sad or the highs without the lows.

    The best advice I could give about helping your friend would be be there. Letting her know she can call you any time, that even if she is stuggling 6 months, a year from now will help massively. I know what I went through wasn’t the same, but there was part of me that after a while had me worrying ‘shouldn’t I be over this by now’ will people think less of me if I still admit to being upset, so I bottled it up. Tried to hide it from the world, yet cried alone most evenings. Letting your friend know there is no time limit on her to get over this I am sure will help.

    Sending hugs


  3. Thank you Kristine. You are a truly amazing and awesome friend, and I have no idea how I would have gotten this far without you. You are a great writer and I know are upset as well about having to say good bye to Max. My boys time had come and he was lucky enough to have many people other than me who loved him. ❤


  4. Sorry I’m late with this, but I just dug your post out of the “junk” box. I have to get that fixed!

    Sounds to me like you’re as upset about your friend’s dog as I am about my friends’ dog. No, you’re not alone. While our stories are different, they are also similar and we can empathize with each other. Being there for our friends is probably the best way to help us deal with our own pain. Hope you have a better day today!


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